Our Golden Retriever "Honey" became very ill yesterday. We took her to the vet this morning after we found her in very bad shape on the floor. The vet did a medical work-up and called shortly before 5:30 this afternoon. The diagnosis was Mast Cell cancer, and it had spread to her lungs and other organs. Her body had completely failed her. She was in terrible pain, and three different vets felt that she would die within the next couple of days. We wanted to spare her the process of dying in such pain. We did not want her to suffer, so after quite a few tears, we did for her what we can not legally do for ourselves. We said good-bye for about 20 minutes, stayed with her and stroked her head and spoke with her. Nikki held her muzzle in her hand and petted her. And then she was gone. We are, of course, both devestated. But, we feel it was the right thing to do. Not easy. Right.

The Need For Speed

On July 16, 1945, our country fundamentally changed in a very big way. On that date, the first nuclear detonation took place at the Trinity site in New Mexico. From that point forward, an arms race began between the old Soviet Union and the United States.

The era that began with the end of World War II, and continued until the collapse of the Soviet Union in the 1980’s was known as The Cold War. It was called The Cold War because it was fought without the use of arms - it was not a "Hot War." Essentially, each side built up a nuclear arms stockpile, along with highly developed delivery systems, until we had enough nuclear weapons to destroy the planet many times over. One side finally reached financial collapse. The old Soviet Union’s communist economy imploded from within; the United States' capitalist economy emerged as the victor.

The Cold War brought about sweeping changes in the way our government operates. Not all of our constitutional liberties were given up during The Cold War, but some of them were. And, because of some of our actions during that period, seeds were sewn that laid the groundwork for taking away future liberties. We should ask weather some of these changes should undergo modern day scrutiny to determine if they are still needed. We might ask ourselves whether some of these Cold War holdovers are actually harming our country. 

The major change that The Cold War brought about was the need for speed. Our system of government was deliberately designed to operate slowly. The founding fathers had a fundamental fear of government to begin with. They had an even bigger fear of government acting out of hasty passion. They wanted change to come about slowly, deliberately, and in degrees.

Again, going back to The Cold War. Once a rocket was launched with an assumed nuclear warhead attached, each country needed to decide whether a response was necessary. If the attack were deemed real, presumably there would be a nuclear response by the country being attacked. The Soviet Union was a totalitarian country. If the leader said launch, you launched. In the United States however, we had this little annoyance: the constitution.

The question arose: because Congress, not the president, is vested with the power to declare war, and because a nuclear exchange could happen so quickly, how could the United States respond to a first strike in a timely manner? After all, if missiles were on the way, it was intuitive that a meeting of Congress, a debate of the pros and cons, and the passage of a resolution would not be possible. There would not be time for congress to declare war.

So congress ceded war-making powers to the president, and thus was born the nuclear suitcase. The nation could now respond in a timely manner. Of course, the Soviet Union knew that the president had been granted this power. We wanted them to know that we could strike back swiftly if need be. The massive size of both country’s nuclear arsenals meant that there was now a possibility of annihilating all life on earth, the doctrine of attack and immediate response became known as Mutually Assured Destruction, or MAD.

The paradigm had changed: the concept of their sometimes being a need for speed was in place. There would not be time for the constitution. We had given up one of our essential constitutional provisions for safety’s sake. Being safe, instead of being free, began to catch on.

On September 11, 2001, with little or no warning terrorists attacked our country. Thousands of American lives were lost. During the ensuing nationwide indignation, Americans were willing to cede even more of their rights in order to combat what was a new threat. The new threat of Islamic terrorism struck fear into the hearts of many of us. The Patriot Act was passed, and other anti-terrorist measures were taken. We began wiretaps, monitoring email, violating torture protocols, and imprisoning enemy combatants indefinitely. All of this was done, and justified, because of the need for speed. Sometimes, as the theory went, information might be received allowing very little time to react. There might be the possibility of capturing or killing a terrorist ringleader, or even preventing another attack. There simply might not be enough time to go to congress for a declaration of war, or permission to use military force. The War On Terror was a war that was never declared. Again, the need for speed, this time with a new twist: a need for speed and safety. We must keep America safe, at all costs.

We have a new administration now. But, the need for speed and safety is so entrenched that it has carried over, almost without question. During the presidential campaign of last year, Senator John McCain suspended his campaign and flew back to Washington because of an impending financial disaster. For what can only be described as political reasons (not that politics is always bad), Barrack Obama followed suit. Congress was told that the problem was so big that there really just wasn’t enough time to explain it all to them. If congress didn’t act with speed, the entire American economy would collapse, along with the world economy. With the need for speed paradigm so deeply entrenched in our culture, congress acquiesced and passed a bill granting powers to the president to appropriate 770 billion dollars to bail out a failing banking system. It was essential that the money be granted with no oversight. Isn't that part of congress' job, to oversee things for us?

New legislation has been recently passed under the Obama administration. AIG and other financial giants have been given large sums of money, some of it used on lavish junkets to island getaways, in order to “do business” for the companies in question. Now, 165 million dollars has been paid out in bonuses to the same people who ran AIG into the ground. Americans are outraged! Congress is outraged! The News Media with pretend outrage, gleefully gloms onto a great news story.

But how did all this happen? The answer is simple: we have been sold on the concept of there being a need for speed, and a need for safety. Congress simply does not have time to read the bills it passes anymore. If congress does not read the bills it passes, how can they, or we, have an effective debate? We stand stunned that we were told that 770 billion dollars had to be given out to failing businesses with absolutely no congressional oversight. There was little protest from the rest of us because, well, it all happened so fast! And again, congress didn't even read any of this stuff. How would they have time to oversee this huge, ultimately a multi-trillion dollars, bailout? Our form of constitutional government has broken down; all because we have been told, and we have believed, that there just isn’t enough time to do it constitutionally. That is because the constitutional way is just too slow. Well, that is the way it was designed. Are we starting to get a glimps as to why? Maybe those founding father guys were pretty smart dudes! 

Is a need for speed really that important in a post Cold War era? That is a question we must all ask ourselves today. Don’t we want our politicians to read the bills they pass? Do we not want them to oversee these huge amounts of money that they ultimately take from us? Was there an adequate debate on whether to intervene in natural market forces, or whether to simply allow those market forces to work toward a natural balance? These are questions we must all consider. Should we return to the constitution? Or, will we allow our fears to dictate that safety is more important than liberty? Is it not time that the true American spirit reemerges? Benjamin Franklin once commented, "Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.” Do we, as today’s Americans, deserve liberty?

Americans have always been a hearty people. We are made up of folks who have undergone the hardships of traveling the high sees to get here, sometimes with very little money, all for the opportunity that America offers. In the recent past, people from Viet Nam stepped out onto impossibly small boats to what was an almost certain death, in order to glean the slightest chance of coming to America. We are genetically descended from risk takers. Isn’t it about time that we reinvest in our fundamental asset, as Americans, and that we demand more liberty and less safety? Safety, and its allure, has caused us to slowly migrate toward a concept that says that, in the world we now live in, we simply no longer have the time for constitutional democracy. We have allowed our most sacred document to be shredded so that we might be safe. Well, how safe do we feel now? The politics of fear has been passed from administration to administration ever since the end of World War II. 


We have become a nation that, instead of coveting our freedom, has developed a need for speed in order to be safe. Speed overrides the constitution. Speed is when most mistakes happen. As my father, a TWA airline pilot for thirty years, used to tell me, “When the red lights flash and the warning bells sound in the cockpit, the first thing to do is to sit on your hands.” Let’s slow down. Let us demand of our politicians, Democrats, Republicans and Independents, that we want them to slow down and return to our constitutional values. Just follow the constitution, that’s all we ask. We are not afraid. We are not a fearful people. We choose freedom.

John Dill

The Mystery of Life

The mystery of life. Recently, I have either been privileged or cursed to be there when life leaves a body. My wife and I rescued a neighborhood scruff, a little kitty who had had his lower jaw torn off by dogs, a cat that was already crippled in its hind legs, and we named him Skittles. We had him for about a year, giving him the best veterinary care all the way. He had three major reconstructive surgeries on his jaw. The vet donated his time and skill. We paid for the materials.

But Skittles had feline leukemia too, and after a while his health turned very bad. My wife and I took him to the vet for the final time late last year, and I held him while he purred, his head in my left hand. As the injection was administered, the purring stopped and he relaxed into the palm of my hand. I felt life leave his body.

Where does it go? Where did it come from?

Recently, our dog Hurk, a wonderful border collie, needed our help too. We had taken him to U.C. Davis School of Veterinary Medicine. We took my female border collie there too. The diagnosis for her was better than expected. But Hurk wasn’t so lucky. His diagnosis was a death sentence: inoperable cancer near his heart.

Last month, we took Hurk to the vet for the last time. He could barely breath. To be honest, either could I. I had dreaded this moment for years. We had rescued him from a shelter thirteen years ago. When I found him on my living room floor in a state of extremis, I knew it was time to find some help for him. I held his chin as the veterinarian prepared an injection to go into his right hind leg. As she prepared to administer the injection, Hurk looked over his right shoulder at her and then back at me. It was so difficult for him to breath. Have you ever had a hard time catching your breath? I have asthma so I can really relate. Hurk’s chin was in my right hand, and then I felt his body go limp. I felt the life leave his body.

Where does it go? Where did it come from?

Yesterday, my wife and I witnessed a car coming the other direction. The car hit a Robin flying by. We stopped. The Robin was not dead, so we relocated him to a safe place, next to a tree. We were both late for a doctor’s appointment. On the way home, we checked on the Robin. Several Robins were circling overhead. There was a hawk in a tree nearby, and the Robins were dive-bombing the hawk to protect their little friend down below. We located the tree, and to our surprise the Robin was still alive, trying to live.

We brought the Robin home, put him in a safe place in one of our bathrooms and turned on a small electric heater. This morning, I was so surprised to find him alive. I called the Shasta County Wildlife Refuge. They care for injured wild animals. We have depended on them many times in the past when we have found a wounded animal. I left a message about the Robin.

The Robin was moving around outside his box on the bathroom floor when I walked in, a good sign I felt. I gave him some water. But, just a few moments later, I went in to check on him again. I could not resist picking him up and gently holding him in my hand. His breathing was so labored. It reminded me of something I had seen before. But he appeared fine in every other way. His wings and legs were not broken.

Then I noticed that familiar “thing.” I cannot describe it. I saw it in my dad’s eyes shortly before he died too. I have always been able to see “the death look.” It was there in the Robin’s eyes. The Robin slowly lowered his head and his feathers relaxed. Right there in my hand, I felt the life leave his body.

Where does it go? Where did it come from?

Life.

I won’t go into all of the other animals we’ve buried. They all had their lives. They all had their stories. Loving animals, loving life, is it a curse or a blessing? Is the transition from life to death really just the same thing as the transition from darkness to life – two sides of the same coin?

I couldn’t help but shed a tear for the little Robin. Life’s mysteries baffle me sometimes. A lot of the time, I try not to think about those mysteries.

Someday, all of us will have our turn. Maybe we will be surrounded by loved ones. Maybe we will be all alone on a deserted country road. All of us will get our turn. I can remember holding my father’s hand at the time of his death, when he took his last breath. Personally, I do not know if it was a blessing or a curse to be there when my father died. I do believe, however, that it was a blessing for my father.

Each day is precious. We never know when a loved one will leave us forever.

Recently, I have lost three good human friends too. Where did that life go? Where did it come from? We have God and we have faith to rely on. But, I truly wonder if any of us knows for sure about the mystery of life. If we did know, maybe we wouldn’t need God. We wouldn’t need faith. As for me, all I can do is pray and hope for the best.

John

What To Do

Today was a difficult day. The photos to the left are of two ducks that my wife and I hatched a couple of years ago. They were hatched from an incubator, so they both imprinted on us, and they became very friendly and tame. How else could someone get so close so as to take a picture of two obviously wild mallards?

Last year, while on vacation, we came home to find that our mallard hen had been badly mutilated, probably by our dog. We have never figured out what actually happened, but somehow our two ducks were allowed to come into contact with one of our dogs and she lost her beak in the process. There was no humane alternative other than having her put to sleep.

These two ducks were a mated pair. The female had sat on a half a dozen eggs, and successfully raised four nice ducks. Eventually, we released them into the wild because we made a conscious effort to not allowing them to imprint on humans. They imprinted on their mama. Long story short, the drake mallard was completely lost after we had the hen put to sleep. He has been like a fish out of water since last October.

Over time, he began to get attached to my wife. He has even become possessive of her, attacking me if I get too close. He is a really fun duck though, much smarter than most people would think a duck can be. We have a little red chicken too, and he has taken up a back yard friendship with her. The chicken lost a chicken buddy about two years ago and the duck is all she has now.

Oh! Did I mention? The duck and chicken sleep inside the house at night. We allow them out during the day, but at night they come in. They lead a really sheltered life.

Back to the story. There is a nice little stream which runs through our back yard. The stream is on our property, but it is on the other side of a short chain link fence. With the rains lately, the stream has filled with water. This morning, I went out to check on the duck and chicken and was unable to find the duck at first. He had flown over the chain link fence and was in the stream. He had found another hen, plus a drake that was already pursuing her, both of them wild of course, and he was swimming with them.

Now we don't know what to do. We love our duck, but it seems that he is feeling the call of the wild. I tried to get him to come up to the back door just before dark, which is his usual routine, but he would not come. So, my wife and I walked down to the stream and attempted to coax him to come up, but when we did the other two ducks took flight and our mallard followed them. I whistled and clapped and called to him. After he had flown about a half mile away, he turned around and came back to our yard and landed. Later, the other two birds returned too.

So, our duck and chicken are indoors tonight. But tomorrow is a different day. We don't know what the right thing is to do. We are leaning toward allowing our duck to choose. After all, he is a wild duck. But, we know that our last little red chicken would be very lonely without him. They have become quite the pals.

Today, I read some of my books. It seems that writing a novel is mostly about reading – ninety percent reading and ten percent writing. I enjoy the time spent with my books. I enjoy the time living with the characters that I am creating. I also enjoy looking over my left shoulder when I am deep in thought and seeing my cat Lupe´ staring at me.

Exciting Day At The Vet's Office

Today began with a trip to the vet. Our golden retriever, Honey, had knee surgery about one month ago, so we were expecting a routine follow-up visit. Boy! Were we wrong.

After the vet saw Honey, he felt that a post surgical injection in her knee might help with some minor pain she was having. He took her to the x-ray room and made for sure the knee was stable. Then he administered the injection. He brought Honey back into us and instructed us to see him again in two weeks.

On the way home, Honey developed some bazaar behavior. She started getting panicky. She began becoming so agitated that we had to pull over and let her out of the car. She began rolling on the ground. Her skin color changed to a bright hot red. She began to swell, and then she started throwing up, just prior to exhibiting convulsive behavior.

We rushed her back to the vet. By the time we got there, her throat and tongue were swelling. Her eyes had swollen almost shut. She was rushed back into the emergency room and they administered intravenous Benadryl, an anti-histamine. They felt, as did we, that she had developed a serious allergic reaction to the injection. They are keeping her overnight, hooked up to an I.V.

So, that was exiting. If we would have lost Honey, that would have been the second dog to die in two weeks. It looks like Honey is going to be okay though.

The rest of the day was spent enjoying the hail and thunderstorms near our home. Nikki had today off, and of course I have everyday off. We read and relaxed. Tomorrow, I will go pick up Honey.

Trip To Roseburg, Oregon

Saturday and Sunday were spent with our two friends Mark and Tracy Parker in Roseburg, Oregon. Mark and Tracy are spending the week there. They stopped by for lunch in Redding on their way up, and we decided to join them for an evening in Roseburg.

We took both of our dogs with us. That was an interesting experience. We asked them if they wanted to go for a ride and they both jumped up and starting spinning in circles. For some reason though, once they got in the car they began to suspect something bad, like the vet or something like that. Our border collie "TheBaby" got real nervous; started panting. Our retriever "Honey" just kind of laid there, slightly less nervous. This was their first overnight stay in a hotel too.

Once we got to Roseburg, we checked into the Windmill hotel, which is pet friendly, and they gave each of our dogs a package of dog goodies, wrapped in a nice ribbon. They seemed nervous in the hotel room too. We are not sure if they had a good time of not. We think maybe they did for at least part of it.

We said goodbye to Mark and Tracy today and drove back. After crossing the California border, the weather started turning bad. First rain, then a little mixed snow. By the time we got past Mount Shasta, it was pretty hard precipitation, but the snow was not sticking yet.

So we are home now and the dogs are happy. It was a really fun trip. We enjoyed our conversations over dinner and breakfast with Mark and Tracy a lot. We hope they have a good time in Roseburg and a safe trip home.

And Tracy: if you read this, just ignore all those scary airplane stories I was telling you.